If a child does not respect adults. How to teach a child to respect adults
photo - N'Grid
All over the country we hear the same thing from moms and dads striving to be good parents. In one form or another the question sounds: “Why don’t my children do what I tell them?”
Parents love Eph. 6:1-3. This is the verse we strive to teach our children above all else, and it is the one that hangs around in our heads as the standard for what our children are “supposed to do” (even if they rarely succeed). You know how this verse goes:
“Honor your father and mother,” for this is the first commandment with the promise, “that it may be good for you, and that you may live long on earth.”
Teaching my children this principle from an early age is good, but it will be even better if I pay attention to what God tells me to do personally. To be honest, I notice that it is much easier for me to watch how others follow certain instructions than how I do it. (Am I the only one?). This is what God says to me in Ephesians 6:4:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.”
God commanded parents not to “irritate” their children. Why did God put this in Scripture? Because parents (especially fathers) have a natural tendency to annoy their children.
We will do to our children as our parents did to us.
According to the dictionary, “irritate” means “to make someone feel impatient, annoyed, or angry.” Based on this definition, my children certainly annoy me often. Every parent has experienced this since the beginning of time. But the Bible says that if I irritate my children, the process of training and instilling obedience is fundamentally damaged.
I can spend all my parenting energy trying to force my children to obey, but I can also look in the mirror and ask God if I am guilty of continuously harassing my children.
Perhaps the problem of children in my house is, in fact, the problem of the parents
Having reflected on my own parenting experience, as well as the parenting successes and failures of others that I have personally witnessed, I would like to highlight 10 Parenting Behaviors That Are Guaranteed to Annoy Your Children. If your parenting style is defined in any way by one of these, your parenting success is at serious risk.
- Dry rules.
All parents make rules. But if there is no cordial connection between parent and child, frustration cannot be avoided. As we've written before, “You need your children to love you. If they don't love you, they won't listen to you."
- Inconsistency.
We are all susceptible to this sin - it is very difficult to accurately live up to the proclaimed standards. But if you constantly change the rules, or if mom and dad are not on the same side, the child becomes confused, and therefore irritated. Don't blame your child for bad behavior if you are inconsistent.
- Too many no's.
As a parent, you will often have to say no. But also make sure you say “yes” often enough. Stop and buy ice cream when they ask. Do something funny or silly simply because your little one expects it. Allow children to walk longer if they deserve it.
- Angry remarks.
You need to raise children, but if you do it with anger or emotion, there will be little benefit. The role of an adult belongs to you. Stop for a second, take a breath and parent with a cool head. Children will learn more if comments are presented in the form of conversations.
- Unrealistic expectations.
You may make the mistake of setting the bar so high that your children will never be able to reach it. They will achieve a lot, but will never feel satisfied or deserving of your love. Do not do that! There is already a lot of pressure on children today. The last thing they need is Mom and Dad demanding more from them than they can handle.
- Legalism.
Ensign parents who do not forgive mistakes are especially ineffective. You may be a normal parent for a while, but you won't last long. One more thing: You are missing a great opportunity to teach your children the gospel. Being a parent like Jesus means giving children a second chance.
- Favor or comparison.
Comparing your children with others is like adding firewood to the flames of irritation. You think this motivates them, but it doesn't. Your children will soon begin to reject you and will inevitably lose all respect for your opinions.
- Failure to admit one's own wrongs.
By the end of middle school, your children will already understand that you have shortcomings. If you don't admit your mistakes (especially when your mistakes are obvious), you question your credibility as a person. This irritates everyone, especially teenagers. Parents aren't perfect, and it's okay to admit that to your kids.
- Hypocrisy.
When you say one thing and do another, it confuses children and creates a climate that is not conducive to positive influence. “You can’t text while driving – but I can!” (Here I am speaking to myself, my wife or teenage children need not comment).
- Depriving a child of the right to vote.
Of course, children are called to obey and honor their parents. But you can do this by asking questions and having your own opinion about family issues. Use the phrase “because I said so” judiciously. You are the parent, one way or another, and you have the final say, but children need to know that their opinions are also respected in the home. This means that you need to listen to them.
It is impossible to completely avoid all these 10 mistakes, so relax. Imperfect and normal families like ours will constantly struggle with these tendencies. But it is important to realize that the more your parenting style is determined by these behaviors, the less of a positive influence you will have on your children.
Just ask God to help you fix some things. Then you will stop annoying your children and get straight to fulfilling Ephesians 6:4: “bringing up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” In addition, you will discover how wonderful your children are when they are not subject to “impatience, frustration, or bitterness.” It's not easy, but it's worth it!
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What would You added V this list? What often interferes to you bring up yours children Right And effectively?
Author - Barrett Johnson/charismamag.com
Translation - Ivan Nevmerzhitsky For
Adapted from the siteinfoforfamilies.com is a ministry founded by Barrett and Jennifer Johnson. After serving in the church for 25 years, Barrett and Jennifer founded their own ministry, InfoForFamilies, aimed at inspiring people through preaching, personal training and resource development. Barrett spent 15 years in youth ministry, then 8 years in family ministry at Johnson Ferry Baptist Church in Atlanta, one of the largest churches in the South. He has several degrees from Texas A&M University and Southwestern Seminary, but his and his wife Jennifer's greatest skill comes from everyday family life.
Over the past decades, many grandparents, mothers and fathers have been asking the question, “What has happened to the current generation? Why don’t young people respect adults?” I will not take upon myself the responsibility to discuss whether this is really so, and whether there was “previously” the average statistical indicator of politeness in the country or not... But I can confidently say that for every child who is impolite and does not show respect, there is at least one impolite adult.
It turns out that if your child does not show respect to adults, then you yourself probably do not treat others with reverence. What is respect and where to start when raising a child?
Respect is the attitude of one person towards another, expressed in recognition of its merits. This means that the child must see and be able to recognize that every person has dignity, that he himself has it.
Family
We must start with the family. And, first of all, from yourself. By showing your child that you respect him and his opinion, you take a huge step towards ensuring that he himself is happy to show respect for you. To achieve this goal explain to the child what and why you are doing, let him understand the cause-and-effect relationship: “We don’t make noise in the room after 10 pm, because brother/dad/grandmother/neighbors are sleeping, and we respect their right to rest,” “I ask you to clean things in their places because we all value and respect each other’s work.”
In addition, a very important factor for mutual respect is respecting boundaries each family member. If you want your child to knock on your door before coming in, knock on his door too. A child, just like an adult, has the right to personal time and space.
Showing respect and care for your partner, you are teaching your child a meaningful life lesson. By observing how respect is shown in his family, the child develops a picture of HOW it really works. The parents of a boy who watches his father help put on his mother's coat and open doors for her are unlikely to be called to school because of tripping classmates and frogs in his briefcase.
Personal example and rules
Equally important show by example showing respect and gratitude to others.
Teach your child to say “please” to the seller, explain why it is necessary to say “thank you” to the waiter, why you need to apologize if you accidentally hurt someone or stepped on someone’s foot. And most importantly, don’t just explain, but show it by example.
Tell them that discussing people is bad manners. If you need to say something, then only to the person who is meant to hear it. And adults in general should be “untouchable” in this matter. And don’t forget to follow these rules yourself.
Make a list of what is strictly forbidden to do: you cannot be insolent to your parents, grandparents, educators, teachers and neighbors, you cannot swear with obscene words, etc. There are things that are absolutely forbidden to do, and there are those that are undesirable to do - your child must learn this from early childhood.
If you demand from a child something that you yourself do not adhere to, he will soon develop a justified feeling of injustice and resentment.
Explain the rules of etiquette to your child. One is not born with knowledge of etiquette; it comes through the process of socialization and should be taught by parents, not a kindergarten or school, although, of course, both school and kindergarten have a colossal influence. Already in early preschool age, a child is able to get used to some simple rules, such as words of greeting, gratitude, addressing strange adults as “you,” rules of behavior at the table, as well as in public places and in transport. Believe me, one or two explanations will be enough, the child will learn the rest from his own observations.
Teach your child to care and work. Assign several household chores for your child according to his age. As you grow older, the volume and complexity of responsibilities increase slightly, and an understanding of the meaning and significance of work comes painlessly and on its own. Normally, a child wants to care for and help his parents, and if the parent accepts this care with gratitude, the child’s desire intensifies. Show love and patience for his mistakes, and the principle of mutual respect and gratitude will follow.
Victoria Vostretsova
Children rarely misinterpret our words.
They surprisingly accurately repeat everything that
what we shouldn't have said.
Respect for parents and elders by children is the most important of the seven virtues. “Honor your father and mother” (remember?). If a child does not respect and love his parents, then he is like a young tree that has no roots, or like a stream that no longer has a source.
Our parents gave us life. It's hard to describe the effort they put into raising us to be who we are.
What do parents expect in return? They need attention, care, ideally love, but above all respect (thus the child shows them his gratitude).
Let's look at the meaning of the word "respect":
Respect is a feeling of respect, an attitude based on recognition of the merits and high qualities of someone or something. // Recognition of importance, significance, value; high mark.
Now let’s think about how many families we see where there are happy relationships between adult (adult!) children and their parents? Why is this happening? When does the Age of Great Dislike begin?
More often than not, parents love their young children (especially if they are obedient) and they love them back. Even if this is not the case, most parents will never admit their dislike for their children (even for themselves). They patiently try to satisfy their needs.
But let's think about what needs are we talking about? Most often, their concern concerns the satisfaction of physiological (food, etc.) needs and the need for safety. Many people already have problems with the need for love. Love is replaced by overprotection. Excessive care does not give the child the opportunity to develop, because development, as we know, can only be at the level of overcoming.
“A child is not a plant, he cannot be grown in a greenhouse, under the hood of his own influence”
A. Sorin.
Thus, children are deprived of the opportunity to learn to trust themselves; they grow up with the conviction that nothing depends on them. Often such relationships become suffocating for children, and there are two ways out - rebellion and humility. It's good if the child rebels. It's worse if you get used to it.
In the latter case, parents forever take responsibility for the lives of their children. But the more responsibility we take for our child, the less responsibility he has left. By doing so, we infantilize him and overload ourselves. No one knows exactly at what age one can consider that parents have “nothing to do with it at all,” and whether this will ever happen at all.
Therefore, they feel a lifelong responsibility for everything that their children do. So, someone, instead of the child (FOR him) takes on the function of control over him. Why then should a child develop such a skill in himself?
Lamarck, already in the 18th century, said: “An unused function atrophies or degenerates.” And the further it goes, the worse it gets. A small child is easy to control, but children grow. And the fewer opportunities parents have to take direct part in the lives of their children, the greater their anxiety due to the feeling of being unable to “pilot” their flight (after all, they and only they are responsible for the result!), and the greater the desire to criticize and prohibit - as an attempt to return control yourself.
So it turns out that in most cases, when children expect support from their parents in their development, their parents hinder them more than help them develop. The child grows into an adult who does not have an adequate understanding of his own capabilities and does not consider himself responsible for his life.
And then you don’t need to be surprised that parents have such a hard life, and the rest of them don’t care about anything! Do you think that children feel gratitude towards such parents? Whatever the case. What comes easily is usually little appreciated, if noticed at all.
Conclusion: You don’t need to take all the responsibility, you only need to take your own!
Why should parents strive to control their child? Because they view it as an extension of themselves. Are you in control of your arm or leg? Therefore, for many parents this is a strange question.
What about higher level needs? But no way. Can we say that parents respect their children? Is their individuality understood and valued? “What stupidity,” many parents will say with indignation. Why respect them? We respect adults for their achievements; children have none.
Is there a lot of real warmth and understanding of the child’s interests in such relationships? So, parents (at best) love their children as part of themselves and that's all. There is basically no respect for individuality in this system.
What does this lead to?
Elementary disrespect for personality in childhood (and personality undoubtedly exists) usually spreads further. Actually, this is precisely where one of the main causes of conflicts between generations lies. Children grow up, but parents continue to consider them their property, unceremoniously invading their privacy.
What are these boundaries? Many parents basically have no concept of personal space.
How is their communication structured? As a rule, according to the principle “mom (dad) knows best what you need.” But as the children grow up, the mother also gains more and more life experience - which means she again knows better.
Parents try to instill in their children their habits and outlook on life. They are hurt by the fact that children are not what they want them to be, so they ruthlessly eradicate any dissent and difference like a weed. Of course, with good intentions (so it seems to them). They sincerely try to protect their children from mistakes.
But in what way? Typically, by constantly looking for flaws and pointing them out. Thus, they turn them into losers, both in their own eyes and in the eyes of their parents themselves. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
If a parent believes that the child is his continuation, an improved copy, then the child inevitably becomes a hostage to parental ambitions, complexes, a tool for settling scores both with other people and with the world as a whole. He “must” meet the hopes of his parents, achieve what they could not, lead a lifestyle that is correct according to their concepts, etc.
In fact, we are again dealing with disrespect for the personality of another, with denying him the right to decide for himself how to live.
“Give your parents a little trust, and they will use it as a crowbar to cut you open and rearrange your life, depriving it of all prospects.”
Douglas Copeland
Parental vanity can both help a child - support him in achieving results on his own path and then bring a justified sense of pride in him - and seriously complicate life.
The scenario in this case can develop in several ways
Successful implementation of the prescribed scenario at the cost of enormous effort, which still gives parents the opportunity to be proud of the child, but goes against his true interests. In this scheme, the son/daughter suffers.
- Parents' disappointment over the unsuccessful life of their son (daughter), who either failed to implement the scenario prescribed by the parents due to lack of inclination, or did not even try to do so. With this development of the situation, both parents and, most likely, their children suffer. The realization that you have disappointed loved ones - moreover, parents (the first and, as a rule, the most significant figures in the life of any person) - can be an unbearable burden.
- Achieving success contrary to the wishes of the parents is perhaps the implementation of an anti-script. With this scheme, even if a person’s life is successful both from his and from generally accepted points of view, parental pride has no basis. After all, success was achieved not thanks to, but in spite of parents and, in fact, serves as a refutation of their own beliefs, values, and, ultimately, their entire life experience (i.e., their life in general). This scenario is sometimes favorable for the child who realized it, but, as a rule, not for the parents.
The main task of parents is to create conditions in which the child can gradually learn to rely on himself, access his own resources and develop the ability to satisfy his own needs. The main distinguishing feature of a good parent is that he sees in the child a person (personality), and not “material” from which one can “fashion” everything that the parent considers necessary.
Unfortunately, it does not occur to many parents that joy for their children’s success, recognition of their independence in achieving it, and simply respect for their individuality can also contribute to children creating their own unique lives.
As for the main tool of the educational process - criticism and pointing out mistakes, then “what goes around comes around.”
Parable.
One day a man came to the sage.
- You wise! Help me! I feel bad. My daughter doesn't understand me. She doesn't hear me. She doesn't talk to me. She's cruel. Why does she need a heart?
The sage said:
- When you return home, paint her portrait, take it to your daughter and silently give it to her.
The next day, an angry man burst into the sage and exclaimed:
- Why did you advise me to do this stupid act yesterday!? Was bad. And it got even worse! She returned the drawing to me, full of indignation!
- What did she tell you? - asked the sage.
- She said: “Why did you bring me this? Isn’t a mirror enough for you?”
The main thing that children inherited from their parents is the habit of criticizing. The children grew up to be who they are next to them. Evaluating and criticizing, knowing “how to”, “how to be a parent”. Parents in general and ours in particular. Once upon a time, their parents told them a lot about what it means to be a “good” child, now it’s their turn. Parents, after all, consider it possible to compare their children with someone else (in the vast majority of cases, not in their favor). Then why are they surprised that adult children compare their parents with someone else? With someone who achieved more, gave more to their children? “Respect? Why should I respect my parents?” an adult child asks – “What nonsense.” We respect adults for their achievements, my parents don’t have them...” (familiar phrase, right?).
By criticizing, you only raise critics. You criticize yourself, but in return you only want gratitude and respect? But where will children learn this if their parents only make comments to them, thereby firmly driving into their heads the idea that they are losers and everything they do is not good enough?
We are caught in a circular process of disrespect. It is impossible to instill respect in children if you yourself do not respect others. How are parents doing with respecting other people? For example, your own parents?
“What you yourself do for your parents, expect the same from your children.”
Respect, gratitude and recognition of achievements must also be taught, preferably by personal example. “And whatever you want people to do to you, do so to them” (Luke 6:31).
Parable
“One man walked into a store and, to his great surprise, saw that God Himself was standing behind the counter.
After hesitating, the visitor finally decided to approach and asked:
- What do you sell?
-What does your heart desire? - said God.
Without thinking twice, the buyer replied:
- I want happiness, peace in my soul and freedom from fear for myself and for everyone else.
To this God said:
- It's possible. But I don't sell fruits here. Only seeds."
Adult children still need feedback, advice, help and approval from their parents. One can argue how much (it depends on whether the parent is still an authority for them) but we can say with confidence that they need support much more than criticism, negative remarks and negative evaluations. It is very important for children (at any age) to receive confirmation from their parents of their success, achievements, and successful development of new social roles.
Why don't parents understand this? Why is there so much criticism and reproach?
- Parents transfer their own experiences to their children, creating an atmosphere of education through criticism in which they themselves were brought up.
- Parents evaluate their children's successes by comparing them with how they feel about their own achievements. And if they consider themselves failures, then it is difficult for them to recognize the successes of their children. Anyone who does not respect himself is unable to respect others. Unfortunately, one can very often observe how the self-affirmation of some is carried out through the search for shortcomings or the devaluation of others. Sometimes this happens unconsciously, intuitively and habitually, and sometimes it is even emphasized as a leading life principle: “Mistakes must be found in order to get rid of them.”
- Children often follow a path in which their parents recognize themselves (parental script). By warning and scolding children, they actually criticize themselves in the past" (N. Manukhina).
The basis of the requirements of respect for parents is the judgment that an elderly person deserves respect simply because he is older (“We have lived our lives! You will live to be my age.”).
However, no matter how cruel it sounds, theoretically an older person deserves respect:
- for the fact that he cared about us and now has the right to count on reciprocal care;
- Over the years, he gained invaluable life experience.
“Parents and teachers are first and foremost givers, and children and students are takers. True, parents also receive something from their children, and teachers from their students. But this does not restore balance, but only mitigates its absence. But parents "They themselves were once children, and teachers were students. They repay their debt by passing on to the next generation what they received from the previous one. And their children and students have the same opportunity."
Hellinger B.I.
In fact, it is generally wrong to consider this process as debt repayment. After all, it is impossible to repay the debt for the life that our parents gave us. Such a debt can never be "repaid." And the demand to return it causes a protest from the children: “I don’t owe you anything,” “By raising me, you were only fulfilling your parental duty” (and for many children: “Parental debt grows as it is repaid” (G. Malkin), “I don’t asked me to give birth."
If life and caring for us is a debt, then it can only be returned to the one from whom it was taken. This point of view stops the flow of life, giving rise to guilt, despair and anger in children, and in parents who were “thrown away” by not returning what they borrowed, a feeling of the meaninglessness of their lives.
It’s another matter if we consider the relationship between parents and children as a contribution to their development.
“A contribution is the provision of the results of one’s achievements to someone for use on contractual terms: at interest, in exchange for something, on certain conditions understandable to both parties. Debt is a burden, contribution is support. By investing in children, parents can hope to receive "interest" in old age: their attention, help, care. This is what parents received from their parents when they themselves were children. This is what their children will give to their children. They will give, not give away."
N. Manukhina.
Therefore, it is important to raise children who understand that in life it is necessary not only to take, but also to give. Otherwise, accusations of insufficient investment, or even devaluation of the parental contribution, are inevitable.
Is it possible to fix such a relationship? In the vast majority, one could wish. How? Decide to enter into dialogue. Understand mutual expectations because they are not always obvious to the other side. Express your feelings, because where there is such hatred, there is always love.
It’s just that mutual grievances do not give her the opportunity to “come out,” just as a gravestone blocks access to freedom from mutual accusations, criticism, and discontent.
Those parents who sincerely rejoice in the achievements of their children always remain needed and desired by them. Their children admit that their parents taught them a lot of good and useful things. Recognition of another makes oneself free. And then the joy of communication appears. And words of acceptance and gratitude are addressed to each other.
And how this communication will take place can always be agreed upon. Like "adult" with "adult". After all, normally, parents do not live only for the sake of their children, only their lives, they have their own interests, build relationships with many people. Do not keep all “savings” (deposits) in one bank.
Respecting the life experiences of parents is more difficult. Life experience is valuable if it makes a person wiser. But if at one time older people were, in essence, bearers of tradition passed on to the next, younger generations, then in our time this is not necessarily the case. As for wisdom, many of the representatives of the older generation do not have it at all.
If something develops over the years, it is rather a resentment towards the whole world, combined with a never-ending desire to meddle in the lives of long-grown children. Wisdom involves expanding the picture of the world, taking into account extensive life experience. And, therefore, greater flexibility and tolerance of others, based on knowledge of people, understanding that we are all different from each other, and respect for individuality.
The conflict between “fathers and sons” is eternal. Any society is a system of interaction between age strata, and its development is a sequential change and continuity of generations, which is always selective: some knowledge, norms and values are absorbed and passed on to subsequent generations, others, which do not correspond to the changed conditions, are rejected or transformed.
Parents and children see the world from different points of view. Children want change, parents hold back the progress caused by children so that the transition from old to new will go more smoothly.
“Young people think that old people are stupid, but old people know that young people are fools.”
Agatha Christie.
It is important not to forget about mutual respect (namely mutual, and not to hide behind the phrase “the egg doesn’t teach the hen”), and to recognize the right to dissent.
So who should start moving towards (if there is a desire to improve relations)? Children or parents?
The one who is wiser.
If these are parents, then shouldn't they be the first to take a step towards their children? If these are children, isn't it time for them to stop building walls and start building bridges? But, in most cases, both believe that it is their job to demand (love, care, respect, gratitude).
Requirements are a road to nowhere. So maybe it's time to change direction (from moving "away" from each other to moving "toward")? And if that doesn’t work out, go to therapy, where a specialist who is not involved in family “squabbles” will help establish contact.
Anna! This is really quite a big problem and your situation is understandable. If you want the situation to change, then you should work something like this. Firstly, there is an option to work with him to remove the anger towards you and the general negative background of the relationship to break this up between you, for this you can work with you alone if he is against similar work. Next, it is worth considering that they behave with us the way we allow them to behave with us. This means you have lost some slack somewhere. This also needs to be found and removed. Well, working on self-confidence and increasing self-esteem always helps. Let me send you my article on similar work. Good luck!
Become and be a confident person. Posted in Articles | March 20, 2015
If we take into account that the vast majority of people have low self-esteem, and the rest have fragmentary (I would say) low self-esteem - only in some area of self-realization, then the first place of work of a psychologist, psychotherapist and sexologist is precisely the work on self-confidence in all areas of life.
And as an example, I would like to give you a little work with a client from Moscow, a 23-year-old girl, where, among other problematic conditions, self-doubt and low self-esteem were reported.
It is worth noting that the basis of problems is always some kind of past negative experience, starting from distant childhood. So it was this time.
The first memory is of an early age, when my father drank, there were constant scandals in the family, and little attention was paid to the girl. In general, she grew up as a disliked and not very happy child, and this is where the first problems with self-esteem arose. I helped her change this situation, and the client filled herself with self-esteem, self-love and inner light.
The next memory is about difficulties in relationships with classmates. The client said that she was *spread* (the girl’s words) from 4th to 9th grade, until she moved to another school, where the situation became much better. Here we brought to her awareness the information that she would never be a schoolgirl again, and living with the problems of those years, worsening the quality of her life here and now, makes no sense.
Next came a story about problems with boys in adolescence. Somehow the relationship didn’t work out, and the client realized for herself: “They probably don’t like me, I’m worse than others.” In addition, then there was a guy who she really liked, but when they got to know each other a little better, he said that the girl was only suitable for him for sex, but not for a relationship. And because of this, self-esteem crept down again.
The problem state was in the form of a gray veil, and we replaced it with self-confidence. The understanding came that at that time these were only the first attempts, and not everyone was successful, for a variety of reasons, and not at all because she was worse than others.
The following story looked more or less successful, but still presented a certain problem for the client. She had already been married for several years, but was very jealous of her husband. In his environment (at work) there were girls of model appearance, and the client considered herself the most ordinary girl. Here I also had to work as an experienced psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist. We tapped *our self image*.
The model’s image was like this: “she’s taller than me, thinner. And I’m standing and feeling tight (we changed this to self-confidence and inner strength).” Next came stiffness, it symbolized a chain, and the altered state became emancipation. Then - comparing yourself with others. The problematic state had the appearance of a mirror, we also removed it and replaced it with the realization that *I am better*. And there were reasons for this. Among all the other girls, her husband chose her. And when we began to check to what extent the problem had been solved, the girl saw the changed picture and said: “now I see that I am standing higher than her (the model she saw at the beginning).”
And further, in order to consolidate her positive changes, I asked her a question: *****What sets you apart from other girls, what do you have that they don’t? And she answered the following: sincerity, care, warmth, tenderness and affection.
Each of us has something to love about us and what makes us different from others. But when we have problems with self-esteem and self-doubt, then all this remains in the shadows, and our problem comes to the fore, covering up all the best in us.
So, draw your conclusions, gentlemen!
Afanasyeva Liliya Veniaminovna, psychologist Moscow
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